There was a time when I was a major control freak. I loved planning my days down to the minute details and thrived on taking charge of my routine.
You know those women who are always organized and in charge of every aspect of their lives?
I was that times hundred, a quality that had its perks but was a soul-sucker for the most part.
Why? Because try as you might, some things in life are impossible to control (and they aren’t meant to be controlled either.)
I know firsthand how frustrating it can be when things aren’t going your way, but one thing I’ve realized is that there is bliss in the art of letting go.
I’ve spent the past year embracing my setbacks, living in the moment, and loosening my hold over things I thought I couldn’t live without commanding.
And in doing all this, I liberated myself from the constant need to be in control.
The result? Better mental health, more peace, and an easy-going mindset – All of which I’m sure you’d love to be able to attain as well.
In this post, we’ll look at the 10 things in life that you can’t control and what you can do instead of trying to change what can’t be changed.
It’s time to stop wasting your time and energy in the wrong places and embrace a more carefree version of yourself.
10 Things In Life You Can’t Control
1. You Can’t Control: Other People’s Opinions About You
It’s frustrating when people disagree with you even though you know you are right, dislike you for no reason, or act in ways beyond your comprehension.
But try as you might, you can’t control other people’s opinions about you, nor can you change the way look at you.
It’s good to be liked by everyone, sure, but it’s not a realistic goal.
You could be the nicest soul on earth, but you’d still find people who don’t approve of what you do or say. It’s better to be authentic than to be a people pleaser.
What You Can Do: Focus On Your Thoughts And Actions
Instead of losing sleep over people who don’t get you, focus on yourself as an individual and build your inner strength.
Work on detangling your negative emotions regarding others, whether it’s anger, sorrow, or resentment.
Adopt a perspective that feels right to you, and let others grow in their journeys while you focus on yours.
Be kind, but don’t hesitate to stand up for yourself or detach yourself from people who make you feel bad about yourself.
What others choose to believe about you doesn’t define you; only you get to decide who you are and what values you stand for.
2. You Can’t Control Or Change: The Past
We all know that the past cannot be changed, but still spend too much time lingering on things that would be different if only we’d done things differently.
The past isn’t meant to be relived like this.
You should learn from your mistakes, cherish your fond memories, and let go of any lingering regrets.
There’s no point troubling your present with ghosts from your past.
What You Can Do: Live In The Present
Instead of regretting past moments that cannot be changed, embrace mindfulness, i.e., the art of living in the present moment.
You can’t undo what’s already been done, but you can make your today better by focusing on things that are in your power.
Create healthy habits, value the people in your life, and prioritize the right things at the right time.
The present is the ultimate truth of life that you should do your best to live in.
Bookmark now: 41 Affirmations For Positive Thinking To Focus On The Good In Life
3. You Can’t Control: Your Age
Can you imagine your 5-year-old self crying about wanting to be older or younger?
No, because that kid was too busy playing with toys or catching butterflies. It’s only as we grow older that this need to stop time or jump back in it creeps in.
I know it can be daunting to realize that you’re getting older, but your age is one of the things that you can’t control.
What You Can Do: Recognize The Beauty Of Every Phase Of Life
When people tell me that they hate their birthdays, I feel sad. Every phase of life is beautiful. Granted, we all are dealt with different cards.
Some have a not-so-good childhood, and others struggle to transition into adulthood.
But some struggles are common for everyone, and the best way to breeze past them is to enjoy whatever phase of life you’re in.
If life was good for you a decade back, it can be good for you now too, as long as you give yourself permission to be happy and embrace the power of now.
4. You Can’t Control: The Hurt That Hasn’t Come Your Way Yet
This one is something I had a hard time letting go of. Growing up, I was always afraid of getting hurt by people or by my own actions.
This made me reluctant to step out of my comfort zone, which is a nice place to be in, but no growth ever happens there.
People often try to dodge heartache by making safe decisions, but they end up getting hurt one way or another.
And that’s because no one can fully sidestep pain. In your life, you will meet people or get into situations that hurt you.
Trying to change that won’t necessarily make you hurtproof (that’s not a word, but you get the gist).
What You Can Do: Live Without Fear
It’s hard to put yourself out there knowing there’s a risk of getting hurt.
But falling in love, growing in life, and being successful in the pursuit of your goals often mean risking your heart.
Just look back at your past hurts, and look how they’ve made you stronger. Don’t let the prospect of hurt stop you from living your life.
You deserve to thrive and fly in life, even if it means stumbling a few times along the way.
You might like: 11 Powerful Habits To Become Mentally Strong And Fearless
5. You Can’t Control: Societal Beauty Standards
I saw a reel the other day showing the changing beauty norms throughout the past century, and it made me realize how irrelevant societal beauty standards are.
You don’t have to see yourself through the lens of these standards.
There are always going to be ways you’ll fall short. I mean, these expectations even differ from country to country!
You only have one body and one life, and if you spend your days trying to mold yourself to fit into these standards, you’re going to regret it big time when you reach the finish line, trust me.
What You Can Do: Live By An Open Definition Of Beauty
Instead of pressurizing yourself to be a certain way, create an open definition of beauty, and live by it.
This means appreciating yourself the way you are, working on body goals that you want to chase, and recognizing the beauty of people in every shape and form.
When you face the mirror, appreciate your natural traits and declare them to be beautiful.
Do more of the things that make you feel healthy and strong, whether it’s working out, going for walks, or wearing clothes from your favorite brand.
And most importantly, spend time with people who find you beautiful.
6. You Can’t Control: The Weather And The Seasons
This might seem like a funny thing to add to the list, but we can’t underestimate the importance of weather and seasons in life.
It can be irritating to change your plans due to rain or to step outside for work when it’s freezing, but the weather and seasons are out of human control.
It’s normal to have your favorite seasons, but pointless to hate weather conditions that are not to your liking.
What You Can Do: Romanticize Every Season
Romanticizing is the ultimate way to embrace the changing weather. A cup of coffee and scented candles can make even the sulkiest souls happy during winter.
Wearing a cute summer dress with sandals can make a hot day better, and catching raindrops in your open palms can make you appreciate the presence of clouds more.
Create seasonal bucket lists, travel to destinations that have weather conditions to your liking (hello, my dear mountains), and roll with the seasons as they come.
Check out: 10 Different Ways To Enjoy Life To The Fullest
7. You Can’t Control: How Others Behave
Just like people’s opinions on you, you can’t change how they behave toward you either.
Sometimes people’s bad behavior is deliberate, other times they are just dealing with personal stuff.
In any case, it’s futile to take it upon yourself to improve a person’s behavior, whether it’s toward you or someone else.
What You Can Do: Improve Your Own Behavior
It’s easy to pick flaws in someone else’s behavior, but harder to work on yourself.
But if you don’t like people being rude, angry, or confusing, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop indulging in these kind of behaviors yourself.
Make a list of traits you hate in other people, and work on eliminating them from your mind. It’ll be good for both you and the people around you.
8. You Can’t Control: How You Feel
If we could control our emotions, life would be easier. But your feelings regarding situations and people make you who you are.
It’s okay to have strong opinions, dislike something, or love someone who you thought you never would.
Trying to control how you feel would only lead to suffocation, but acknowledgment and understanding will give you freedom.
What You Can Do: Think Before Acting
Feelings are beautiful, but that doesn’t mean you should act upon all of them.
The most content people in life are those who react wisely and don’t let their feelings get the better of them.
Find healthy outlets for dealing with your emotions. Journal regularly, take therapy, meditate, and talk to a friend.
Self-awareness will take you a long way to mastering your actions.
Don’t miss: How To Be Kind To Yourself (15 Simple Ways)
9. You Can’t Control: Unforeseeable Circumstances
Life is full of uncertainties, and unexpected events can happen at any time. These events are often beyond your control.
It can be scary when life deals you unexpected cards, but there are some things you can do to adapt and respond to them better.
What You Can Do: Strengthen All Aspects Of Your Life
People who have a strong life system are usually able to deal with uncertainties better.
Have a healthy lifestyle, prioritize your mental health by doing self-care regularly, create a strong support system for yourself, and be wise financially.
Even simple everyday skills like cooking, driving, and cleaning can be of major help during times of crisis.
Most importantly, build a stronger connection with yourself so that you can truly be there for yourself in the moments of distress.
10. You Can’t Control: The Outcome Of Everything You Do
When I put my laundry in every morning, I know I’ll get clean clothes in an hour.
But on the other hand, preparing for an extrance exam for college admissions? It’s a different story altogether, one with various probable outcomes.
You can’t predict the outcome of of everything you do in life, and frankly, it’s better that you don’t, because this gives you the option to believe in yourself and opens up a realm of possibilites for you.
What You Can Do: Focus On Progress
Instead of worrying about the things that could go wrong in your growth journey, focus on your progress.
Break down your major goals into shorter steps and take things one day at a time.
The sooner you can ditch perfectionism and start working, the closer you’ll get to achieving your goals.
Related post: How To Deal With Lack Of Motivation – 8 Tips That Might Help
Stop Worrying About The Uncontrollable Aspects Of Life
It isn’t easy to acknowledge the uncontrollable parts of life, but that’s the first step to liberating yourself from the need to always be in control.
It’s okay to leave some things to external forces and focus on the things that you can actually control.
And I hope this post was able to help you realize the beauty of balancing action and acceptance.
Read next: How To Stop Being Negative – 9 Gentle Ways
Got any thoughts or tips you’d like to share? I’d love to hear from you in the comment box!
This was beautiful Admin. Thank you for your reflections.
Glad you liked it. Thank you for commenting!