Here are 13 cool girl habits you can start building today and change your life along the way.
When you hear the phrase ‘cool girl’, you might imagine someone who everyone admires and finds oh-so-cool, right?
But that’s not what the definition of a cool girl is (at least not for me, and certainly not in this blog).
A cool girl is friendly, comfortable in her own skin, and doesn’t try too hard to be someone she’s not.
She isn’t obsessed with what anyone thinks of her, but she’s also kind and fun to be around.
Now, if this kind of personality doesn’t call out to you, no worries.
But if you would like to add the cool girl traits to your aura, then great! You’re in the right place.
I think a cool girl person can be really helpful for your confidence, authenticity, and the way you feel about yourself.
Thankfully, you don’t need a secret formula, a perfect wardrobe, or a trust fund to become a cool girl.
You just need to work on some habits that make you feel good, look good, and live well.
Which means you can start building them yourself, starting today.
Before we get into the list, let me say one more thing.
When I say “cool girl,” I don’t mean the “not like other girls” kind of cool.
I mean the kind where you’re secure enough to be yourself, and generous enough to cheer on everyone else.
Cool isn’t about being exclusive. It’s about being confident, curious, and kind. That’s what you need to remember.
Now, grab a cup of coffee, sit down to read, and let’s talk about how you can become the cool girl you’ve always admired.
13 Cool Girl Habits To Start Today
1. Find your own style
The first tip I want to dish out in this post is to stop dressing for the algorithm and start dressing for you.
Trends can be fun, and you’re allowed to love them.
But the outfits that make you feel the coolest are the ones that feel like you.
Maybe it’s a vintage jacket from a thrift store, your signature red lipstick, or a pair of boots you’d wear every day if you could.
You need to pay attention to the outfits that make you feel your best, and notice what they have in common.
Do they have similar colors, fabrics, or a certain silhouette?
Once you have an idea, build a wardrobe around those pieces. Clean out the clothes you never reach for, and keep the ones you love.
When you feel good in what you’re wearing, it shows. You feel cool, and you look cool.
2. Stop chasing validation (value your own thoughts more)
This is the biggest tip, I promise, so please pay attention.
If you’re waiting for every post to get a hundred likes, or every decision to be approved by the group chat, you’ll never feel truly free.
In order to embrace your cool side, you have to learn to trust your own judgment, even if not everyone gets it.
You have to stop seeking validation from others and realize the weight of your thoughts and feelings over the external world.
That doesn’t mean you should stop caring about people’s opinions altogether. It means you shouldn’t let them run your life.
Here’s a little practice you can try.
This week, make one small decision without asking anyone what they think.
Pick the restaurant, buy the thing, or choose the outfit on your own. Notice how awesome that makes you feel.
Keep doing that more and more. It gets easier every time.
3. Don’t be so attached to your phone
Any woman (or person) is most magnetic when they are fully present. Your phone can sadly put you in the opposite zone.
So, be that girl who can be without her phone without feeling like she’s missing something.
Don’t feel obligated to reply to every message in two seconds. Let your notifications wait while you enjoy the moment you’re in.
Put your phone away at dinner (and during all meals, for that matter).
You can also set some small digital boundaries and rules for yourself.
Turn off non-essential notifications, keep your phone in your bag when you’re out with friends, and leave it outside your bedroom at night if you can.
You’ll be amazed by how much more you notice when your eyes are up, and how cool you feel inside out.
4. Get comfortable and happy being alone
The coolest people genuinely love their own company.
Now, if you don’t find your solo presence comfortable, this can feel like a dreadful habit to build.
But as a woman who was once so afraid to be alone with her thoughts and now schedules her me-time, I can tell you it is life-changing and kind of important.
Solo dates are easily the best places to start.
Take yourself to the movies, or grab brunch with a book every week.
Wander around your city without a plan, and spend a Saturday at home watching movies by yourself.
Whenever possible, plan a solo trip. It takes courage, I know, but it will bring you closer to yourself that you’ve ever been.
If nothing else, read fiction books in bed every night (you are alone, but still not so because you are immersed in another world).
Once you realize how much fun you can be to yourself, you stop making decisions out of loneliness. And that makes being alone easy and natural.
5. Be more curious and open
Some of the most interesting women you’ll ever meet are the ones who never stop being curious.
Curiosity keeps your life interesting, and it also keeps you young at heart.
Read books, listen to podcasts, try new foods, ask questions, and get excited about random facts.
Tell your friends about the documentary you just watched or the band you just discovered.
Make it a habit by picking one new thing to learn about each month.
It could be a topic, a skill, or a cuisine. Follow your interest wherever it leads, even if it seems random.
Not only will curiosity enhance your personality, but it will make you more interested in the world you live in too!
6. Have hobbies that are just for you
Find something you do simply because you love it.
Maybe you can paint, play an instrument, garden, bake, write a blog, collect records, or run on weekends.
These interests will give you an identity beyond your job or your relationships.
Hobbies also make you fascinating to talk to, because people love listening to someone who’s passionate about something.
If you don’t have a hobby yet, give yourself permission to try a few.
Don’t worry about being good at them. You can think of it as dating your interests until you find the one that clicks.
7. Move your body because it feels good
Your physical health is an important part of your personality, and exercise is an important part of building physical health.
So, whether you’re trying to be a cool girl or not, you need a workout routine that you can stick to.
But don’t force yourself through workouts you hate.
Find movements you enjoy, like dancing, hiking, swimming, Pilates, or going on a long walk with a podcast.
Do it for energy, strength, and mood, not to punish yourself.
When movement feels like a celebration instead of a chore, it becomes a lasting habit.
Try a few physical activities, and notice how you feel afterward.
Choose the ones that make you feel strong and happy, and show up to do them at least 4-5 days a week.
8. Keep the drama low
The coolest way to channel cool girl energy is to stay cool. In simple words, choose peace over chaos more often.
Skip the gossip, don’t stir the pot, and don’t reply to every provocation. When there’s a conflict, address it calmly and directly, and then move on, girl!
At times, this may seem like you’re letting people do whatever they want.
But to me, this is just understanding that peace is worth more than being right all the time.
When you feel the urge to vent about someone, ask yourself whether it’s actually helpful or just feeding the drama.
And if someone constantly brings chaos into your life, it’s perfectly fine to create some distance.
Your mind space will be so much better because of this habit.
9. Cheer on other women
This habit is the absolute best, and it’s one of the biggest signs of confidence.
To truly be a cool girl, you need to stop seeing other women as competition.
Compliment the girl with the great outfit, share opportunities, and celebrate your friends’ wins like they’re your own.
Because there’s enough success, beauty, and joy for everyone.
The next time you think something nice about someone, say it out loud. Send the congratulations text, and recommend your friend for that thing.
It will cost nothing, but it will make the world around you a kinder place.
10. Take care of yourself regularly
Don’t wait for a glow-up moment to level up your vibes. Build your glow-up into your everyday life.
Create a routine around small habits you can keep up with.
Sleep well, moisturize, drink water, eat food that nourishes you, and carve out time to rest.
There is no need to hit an expensive salon, buy new skincare, or get your nails done every other week.
A simple routine you follow consistently will always beat a complicated one you give up on after two weeks.
Pick two or three basics that feel manageable, like a nightly skincare routine and a daily smoothie, and stick with them.
Looking after yourself is the foundation of that effortless glow.
11. Learn to say no
Protect your time and energy like they’re precious, because they are.
Stop saying yes out of guilt or fear of missing out (embrace JOMO, the joy of missing out instead).
Practice politely declining invitations, leaving events when you’re ready, and telling people when something isn’t working for you.
Saying no is not rude. It simply makes your yeses more meaningful.
Start with a few easy phrases, like “I can’t make it, but thank you for inviting me,” or “That doesn’t work for me.”
You don’t have to give a long explanation. A kind, clear no is enough.
12. Curate your world
You don’t need expensive things to have great taste. You just need to know what you love.
First, you need to pay attention to what you’re naturally drawn to, so that you can keep those things and add more of them to your life.
Make a playlist of songs that feel like you, and decorate your space with things that have meaning.
Have a shelf of favorite books, a signature scent, a cozy corner at home, and a short list of your favorite places.
Be thoughtful about what you bring into your life, from the music you listen to, to the people you keep close.
Your world should feel like an extension of your personality, not something that’s just decided for you without your say.
13. Don’t take life too seriously
Last but not least, bring your sense of humor.
Learn to laugh at your own mistakes (this is cool both for you and others).
If you trip on the sidewalk, make a joke about it, and keep walking. Don’t spiral over an awkward conversation or a bad hair day.
Manage your stress by doing light and fun activities.
Don’t overthink the future (unless you’re doing real planning that will actually bear some fruit instead of making you fret).
That ability to laugh at yourself is so freeing, and so attractive. It tells people that you’re secure and easy to be around.
The next time something embarrassing happens, try to see the funny side.
Eventually, you’ll realize that most embarrassing moments are forgotten by everyone else in about five minutes.
What Being A Cool Girl Is NOT
Since this word has gotten tangled up in some odd ideas, let’s clear a few things up.
It’s not about being mysterious or aloof. Warmth and kindness are much cooler than acting uninterested.
It’s not about being the ‘chill girl’ who has no needs.
You’re allowed to have preferences, boundaries, and feelings. Pretending to be easygoing about everything isn’t cool; it’s tiring.
It’s not about putting other women down. Real confidence has no need for comparison.
And lastly, it’s not about perfection. The coolest people are real, imperfect, and honest about it.
So, make sure you’re not aiming for perfectionism in your journey to being a cool girl.
Your Cool Girl Era Starts Now
At the end of the day, becoming a cool girl is about being comfortable in your skin, curious about the world, and kind to the people around you.
You don’t have to try all of these habits. Pick one or two that feel exciting, and practice them for a few weeks.
You’ll start to notice small changes in how you carry yourself, and how people respond to you.
And remember that there’s nothing to prove.
The most magnetic thing you can be is yourself, with more confidence, a lot more kindness, and a good playlist.
Which of these habits are you going to start with? Tell me in the comments. I’d love to chat!
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