Learn how to be more secure in yourself and raise your self-esteem with this gentle 10-step approach. Best tips for healing your inner self and embracing the world around you with open arms.
In a world filled with constant comparisons and the relentless pursuit of perfection, it’s all too easy to feel insecure about ourselves.
Whether it’s the pressure to fit societal standards, the fear of judgment from others, or simply doubting our own abilities, insecurity can be a persistent and paralyzing presence in our lives.
But what if I told you that self-security is not an unattainable ideal, reserved for the lucky few?
What if there was a way to fight your insecurities and be more comfortable in the presence of others, without doubting your body or your mind every second?
Because here’s a simple truth – Your insecurities and self-doubts have nothing to do with others.
And that’s actually a great thing because it means you can cultivate and nurture yourself to feel more secure from within.
How To Know If You Are Insecure
Insecurities are fostered over time in various ways and may differ from person to person.
What insecurity looks like for me (and yes, even I am not fully immune to this troublesome emotion) might not necessarily be the same for you.
However, there are some common feelings that can result in feelings of insecurity.
This post will help you if you:
- Struggle to maintain your boundaries
- Are easily affected by external situations
- Have a tendency to take things personally
- Feel envious even when you don’t want to
- Question the love coming your way
- Doubt yourself too often
- And seek external validation to feel worthy
Hard stuff, I know, but with the right strategies and strong commitment, anything can be changed and molded the way you want to, and that includes your insecurities.
Here are the only three things you’ll need before we diving into this guide:
- Determination to do some inner work
- Willingness to open yourself to self-love
- And of course, a cup of coffee for self-reflection after you’re done reading this post
Sounds good?
Alrighty!
Before we move on, take a second to pin this post. Sharing is caring.
In this blog post, we’ll delve into the art of self-assurance and explore 10 practical strategies to become more secure in yourself.
We’ll break down those barriers that hold you back and find some gentle ways to embark on a journey toward greater self-confidence.
Read on to embrace your inner strength, realize your true worth, and unlock the power that’s always been within you.
How To Be More Secure And Happy With Yourself
1. Voice Your Insecurities
Voicing your insecurities might not be the easiest thing to do.
We often like to bury the underlying causes of uncomfortable emotions, but if you truly want to be free of your insecurities, you need to look them in the eye and stop fearing their presence.
Instead of bottling up your insecure emotions, lighten up your load by speaking them out loud in the privacy of your room.
Be honest and open with yourself, and be patient with yourself as you work through these feelings.
You can also express them to someone who can provide understanding and empathy, such as a close friend, family member, or therapist.
Use “I” statements to convey your emotions, focusing on how you feel rather than blaming others or making sweeping judgments.
For example, say, “I feel insecure when…” instead of accusing or generalizing.
Encourage a constructive conversation by explaining why these insecurities bother you and how they impact your life.
Remember that vulnerability is a strength, and by sharing your insecurities, you’ll free up space in your mind for healing thoughts.
2. Reflect Back
Self-awareness is the first step towards healing.
Understand your insecurities by identifying their roots, and reflect on past experiences or traumas that might have contributed to these feelings.
I like to do all my reflections in my journal. It’s a simple yet impactful way to communicate with yourself and release your emotions.
In each journal entry, pick one thing you are insecure about and delve deep into it.
Identify any negative beliefs or self-doubt that may be undermining your self-esteem, and challenge these beliefs with evidence of your past achievements.
And most importantly, treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend.
Self-acceptance and assurance will take you a long way in your journey to being more secure.
3. Use Healing Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements that counteract negative self-talk and self-doubt.
By consistently reinforcing constructive messages, affirmations create a more supportive inner dialogue, which, in turn, fosters a greater sense of security in your abilities and self-worth.
Here are some powerful affirmations you can use to heal your insecure thoughts:
- I am worthy of love and respect just as I am.
- I trust myself to make the best decisions for my life.
- I believe in my abilities and have confidence in my skills.
- I am not defined by my past; I am shaped by my present choices.
- I embrace change and see challenges as opportunities for growth.
- I am resilient, and I can overcome any obstacle that comes my way.
- I deserve happiness and am capable of creating it in my life.
- I am in control of my thoughts, and I choose positivity and self-love.
- I am grateful for my unique qualities and the value they bring to the world.
- I accept myself unconditionally and love myself deeply.
Repeat these affirmations daily to reinforce self-belief and deepen your sense of security.
Create some more personalized affirmations in your journal to reframe your thoughts and boost your self-esteem.
Check out more: 121 Positive Affirmations For Mental Strength To Make You Fearless
4. Find Some Positive Role Models
When I was struggling to maintain a positive body image, my brother recommended I look for female influencers who have my body type and let their confidence rub off on me.
It was an advice that truly changed my life.
My YouTube recommendation feeds are now full of videos from amazing females who own who they are and inspire their viewers to do the same.
Role models serve as living examples of what you aspire to be or achieve.
They can motivate you to work on your insecurities and develop the positive qualities that you are meant to have.
Start by identifying individuals whose lifestyle and values resonate with you. It could be someone in your field of interest or someone who has overcome similar insecurities.
Study their journeys, learn from their experiences, and seek guidance if possible.
Your role models don’t have to be famous; they can be people in your personal life who exhibit qualities you admire.
By observing and learning from their paths, you can gain insights to address your own insecurities and build a more secure and confident version of yourself.
5. Indulge In Self-Care As Often As Possible
There are no negative emotions that cannot be healed with a feel-good session of self-care.
It is the practice that allows you to step away from the external chaos and tune inward instead.
I used to do a weekly self-care session but soon realized that I needed more than that.
Your well-being deserves to be prioritized, and if that means indulging in self-care every two days, then so be it.
Self-care allows you to:
- Pamper your body
- Pour into your self-love cup
- Take a mental break from your routine life
- Connect with your inner self
- Spend some quality me-time
Most importantly, self-care makes your inner child feel cherished and valued.
It acts as a healing balm against your insecurities by making you realize that you are ‘enough.’ Isn’t that a powerful feeling to have?
Here are some self-care ideas you can put together to form a refreshing routine:
- Put on a hydrating face mask
- Paint your nails
- Write in your journal
- Do something you love
- Take a nourishing bath
- Light some scented candles
- Play soft and soothing music
- Sip some herbal tea
You might like: 12 Amazing Ideas For The Best Self-Care Night Routine
6. Mindfulness and Meditation
One of the things I hate about insecurities is the anxiety that they induce.
In the past, I’ve had many moments where I’ve doubted the friendships in my life, and every small disagreement with my people would send me into a frenzy.
Meditation came as a savior, and it’s something I cannot harp on enough to fight insecurities.
Most of the problems in your head are there because you’re not able to stick to the present moment.
You might fear certain incidents from your past repeating themselves, or you might be concocting future scenarios that are not in your favor.
But all of that needs to stop.
Your present is the only truth you need to be aware of, and meditation is the one practice that can simply the art of living in the moment for you.
Tune into mindfulness by doing 15 minutes of meditation everyday (and whenever you feel stressed).
Detach yourself from self-doubt and judgement thoughts by focusing on your breaths, and tune into guided meditations to find your inner peace.
This could really alter your life, trust me.
7. Work On Your Reactions
Before your insecurities have time to foster, work on them by nipping them in the bud.
There is an action that usually triggers an insecure thought in your head.
What if you could change the way you react to this situation by changing your internal dialogue?
Recently, I had a close person complain to me about another loved one of mine.
Now, let me tell you, that this similar situation has been a triggering point in the past for me.
If any two close people are having conflicts with each other, I feel threatened that my circle is going to collapse. It might, or it might not, but that isn’t even in my hands in the first place.
So, this time, I took a deep breath the moment I first heard about it, and chose to step back from the situation personally and listen to it from an external perspective.
It took practice to get to this point, but it’s been absolutely game-chaging for me.
Work on your reactions like this. Keep reminding yourself that you can’t control certain things in life, and that’s okay.
Unless it’s the end of the world, there is no need to react harshly to something that can be handled with care instead.
You are fine, you are secure, and you can handle whatever comes your way.
Related: 11 Powerful Habits To Become Mentally Strong And Fearless
8. Challenge Your Self-Sabotaging Thoughts
Recently, I was canceling plans left and right because of an acne breakout.
Every time someone invited me for an outing, I’d get excited, and then back out because I was hesitant to step outside with rosy pimples on my face.
But after a dermatologist’s appointment, I was in the cab, feeling not so good and a little bit lonely, and I chose to challenge my insecure thoughts by asking myself these questions:
What would happen if someone were to see me this way?
Is a stranger’s opinion so important to me that I’ll stop living my life?
And do people even have enough time to focus on things that I am insecure about?
Pretty straightforward questions, but my mind had no response to them, because I was giving unnecessary importance to my appearance.
The moment I challenged my self-sabotaging thoughts, it was like coming out of a trance. I asked the cab driver to change directions and went to a friend’s house instead.
And the whole time I was there, I didn’t even think about the reason why I hadn’t been coming over in the first place.
Challenge your insecurities by asking yourself questions whenever you’re stuck in a negative pattern. It really works.
9. Don’t Take Things Personally
Do you think you take things too personally way too often? You’re not alone in this feeling, my friend.
One of my resolutions for this year was to stop taking things personally,a nd I’m glad to announce that I’ve gotten good at managing this emotion.
It’s a huge achievement for me because this habit had too much power over my emotions.
You need to realize that people’s actions and words are often a reflection of their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences rather than a direct commentary on your worth.
Use this self-awareness to distinguish between external events and your internal self-worth.
When you feel hurt by something, challenge your automatic assumption that things are about you and consider alternative explanations.
This shift in perspective can help you detach emotionally from situations, and become more grounded in your inner strength.
The less value you give to external opinions, the more secure you will be in yourself.
Don’t miss: How To Reinvent Yourself – 10 Ways To Be Brand New
10. Seek Therapy
Insecurities often stem from a combination of past experiences, learned behaviors, and negative thought patterns.
Therapy provides a safe environment where you can explore these underlying issues, gain insight into your insecurities, and develop effective strategies to overcome them.
You can do a lot of healing on your own, but a trained professional will be able to help you on a deeper level.
They can assist you in examining your thoughts and beliefs, challenging unhelpful patterns, and replacing them with healthier ones.
Moreover, therapy provides a non-judgmental space to express your feelings, fears, and vulnerabilities openly.
This can be immensely therapeutic as it allows you to process and release pent-up emotions, leading to emotional healing and personal growth.
Speaking from personal experience here, each session will give you a stronger sense of security, and you’ll feel more empowered to pursue your goals, build healthier relationships, and lead a more fulfilling life.
Embark On A Journey To Greater Self-Security
The journey to becoming more secure in yourself is a deeply personal one, and it’s perfectly okay to take it one step at a time.
You have the power within you to cultivate a stronger sense of security, and by doing so, you’ll not only enhance your own well-being but also inspire and uplift those around you.
Celebrate your progress along the way, and be patient with yourself during your moments of self-doubt.
You got this, my friend. I bee-live in you. 🐝
Read next: How To Worry Less And Smile More – 8 Tips To Be More Free
You just discovered 10 effective strategies for dealing with insecurities. Got anything you’d like to add or share?
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